Today Is Another Day….

I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis late in life, at 51 years old and up until then I had always been very active. I spent many years as a Disc Jockey playing music making people feel good , and making them dance. I was scared and angry as you can imagine anyone in my position would be. My how things can change with a quickness in life.

Now I wake up and if I can see and move my arms and my legs , then the day is lived in what I call my fast and furious mode…LOL which is anything but that. I think that you have to keep a positive nature about you even when you don’t want to. You cannot allow other people’s negativity pull you down. When I feel the negativity starts to rise I excuse myself and go back to my one healing happy place and that my friends is with my music. I have joined a couple of MS support groups but when the negativity got to be too much I bailed out due to self preservation. If that is wrong – okay, I can accept that . What woke me up out of my black mood and negativity was a friend of mine told me “Marisol, honey, I can’t light no more of your darkness.” Now you might find that strange but beings as it is a line out of one of my favorite songs I just knew I needed to get a grip. I have climbed upward out of the darkness and depression.

Now going in to my fourth year of this awful disease I find that when it starts to get me down that sunshine and my stereo help me more than all the doctors I can find. I can remember what dragged me down in that hole of darkness . I joined the two foremost sites you can join to get support. What I got was the crap scared out of me, the more I read the more I cried, so by day three or four I thought the world was going to end. Don’t misunderstand me. Information is important, but I am not going to sit here and lie to you by the fifth day I threw most of the stuff they sent me in the trash, and I have just been winging it on my own. Some would say that is irresponsible, but you have to know I have been down a path or two . I would tell you this, it didn’t kill me. I read what I can and then I walk away and process the information.

Of course a person freaks out at the thought of an illness like this. This is when you find out who your real friends are. People ask you all the time, “How are you feeling?” What they mean is “Do you really have this disease???” I lie …because to explain anything to them with their attention span being minuscule it takes too much energy to educate them because they really don’t want to know. So I talk to the ones that matter, and let the rest figure it out on their own. They get a bit perplexed when I don’t want to go anywhere with them. I hate malls and big department stores….so I just don’t go. My family is 1300 miles away which has made me have to be a bit tougher. I have my dog Howie, he makes me laugh even when I don’t want to, I have to get up to feed him and take him for walks. So the question is who is really in charge?

LOL…I will leave this for another day …Be good to one another and stay positive!