Things Don’t Always Turn Out Like We Planned | Cancer Blog

When I did finally start coming around I remember feeling my fingers on my right hand cutting into my palm.  I remember asking my husband to put something in my hand so it would stop hurting.  It seemed after surgery all was well.  I could move my arm, fingers, leg and toes, but then something happened.  Now my right side wouldn’t move, like a stroke, but it wasn’t, maybe the seizure, maybe something in the surgery.  What?

Do I remember in the office visit before surgery, discussion of possible paralysis, or brain damage?  Yes!  But, really, do you read the side effects on prescription bottles when you get a new medication?

Not me, that only happens to other people.

My options were to be moved to the Rehabilitation Center there at the hospital or to somewhere else.  If I went to the Rehab Center at the hospital, they would only take me if I worked hard and had a good attitude, if not they would release me.  It was going to take time and patience, but there was a good possibility that it would come back and all would be okay, no one could be for sure.

I was ready as this was not what I had planned. 

Let’s get this show on the road!

I went from ICU to a regular ward of care and once they felt I could start the rehab program I was moved there.  Word spread fast and I had a steady stream of visitors.  This again was a life saver, Lord knows my attitude was not the best, but I put on a good show!  Everyone would leave at the end of the night, the nurses would come in and it was lights out.  I needed all my energy for the next day it was so hard physically, mentally, but, oh, so emotionally. I would cry myself to sleep almost every night.  Imagine one arm/hand and one leg/foot. I couldn’t get in the wheelchair by myself. I couldn’t turn over in bed by myself and lets don’t even discuss the bathroom yet. That’s another story.

I started out just trying to move and learn how to stand again.  My balance and equilibrium was also not there.  I was like a drunk just trying to stand or sit on the side of the bed. The dead weight of my right side and my arm just hung there.  At night they would lay my arm on a pillow on my stomach then pull the bars up to keep it from falling off the bed.

I thought a lot about stroke victims and how they must feel.  We had a few in the rehab center and I could see them in the cafeteria area eating at noon, I wanted to ask if I could go in there too, but my bandages were off and you could see the staples in my head, not very appetizing, you think!  Better wait on that one.