Daily Life with MS: Feeling Down

I am sure some of you readers have noticed my absence in the past month or so. I
apologize for leaving anyone hanging but I had to take a “me” break, some time off for
MS and “our” depression. That probably sounds like a horribly cliche copout but I am
just being honest with you. Acceptance seems to be a running theme for myself and
Multiple Sclerosis and that has become almost painfully obvious recently.

I have been having a really hard time lately. I am stressed out, overworked, and feeling
kind of alone in this whole battle. I need help. I need someone to handle some of my
burden. I need support. I don’t feel this way anymore but I have felt it before. We all
have. These past few weeks felt pretty close to this desperation. I wrote recently about
asking for help at work but when I was feeling this low a few weeks ago I got a lesson in
asking for help on a more personal level.

I am a Pisces and by nature of that a very emotional person. Top that off with mood swing side effects from medications and some symptoms of minor depression from MS itself and I can be quite the puddle of despair and tears at times. Even before my MS diagnosis I had some pretty difficult trials in my life that added to the drama of it all. I’ve written before about my decision to handle my depression without medication and need to reiterate that this was a personal choice and I by no means endorse doing the same for everyone.

Over the years I have adapted strategies to cope like meditation and internal reflection but I found that with my recent depression I needed to do more than deal with it alone. I have always been OK with being by myself. I am not a loner but I do enjoy quiet personal time and do not mind doing things without anyone to join me.

I can not tell you what finally pulled me out of my own head recently but I can tell you
that I felt such a huge burden lifted when I emerged. I was stressed about the obvious:
• Money
• Work
• School
• LIFE…

Once I started to scan the world beyond my own brain for solutions and support I
realized I did not have to and should not take on all the stress I have alone. I do not just
say this for the obvious reason of stress being the worst agitator for MS but because I
am only human! Whether you have MS or not, stress does the body bad.

I could sit here and bore with how I came to the lightbulb solutions for all my problems
but I won’t. The point of my tale today is that I asked for help, got it, and not only felt a
million times better but was able to laugh some of it off in the end. My fiancé helped me
slay the stress dragons and showed me that some of them weren’t real demons to battle
in the first place. I was able to lick my battle wounds with a smile and come out a
champion. I am in a much better place now and all I needed to do to get here was
admit I was in a bad position and needed help getting out of it.

The lesson to be learned from my fable today? You can not and do not have to be
strong all the time; ask for help when you need it and you may just get it!

Photo Credits:
http://www.norulak.com/pisces.htm
http://www.collective-evolution.com/2012/08/22/mind-body-and-soul-discovering-our-connection/meditation-2/